Souless
by yami1234
Summary: Bella, I told you before, I just can't do it, I am not going to damn your soul. I already lost mine, I will not take yours away. But I was about to prove him wrong, that he did have a soul, and I knew just how to do it BXE FLUFF!


Hope u enjoy, this might seem a little pathetic, but i promise it is cute

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EPOV

I wish i knew what she was thinking. Everytime i try to read her mind, there is nothing, but silence. Utter silence. Sometimes it makes me irrated not to know what runs through her head, but other times I am glad I can't hear, her reactions and utter ability to surprise me, acculary make it worth the effort.

I sighed again and gazed at her sleeping form next to me. I wonder if she ever thought of someone other than me. Someone who didn't always put her life in danger, somone who could make her truly happy. I shook my head trying to dismiss my own thoughts. She would be hurt if she knew I would think something like that, and I never wanted to see her hurt, espically after leaving her.

But still I couldn't understand how she, the most perfect, selfless, loving, caring person I know, love me..a souless, monster who thirsted for her blood every single moment I was near her. I just could never understand. Bella, she has this crazy theroy that I do have a soul because of all the 'good' i seem to do in the world. If only she could comprehend all the innocent lives I had taken. All the blood taken because of me. All the lives cut short, because of the monster within me. Maybe if I had just stayed away a little longer, she would have been happier with Jacob. I cringed at the thought and pulled Bella closer to me.

BPOV

I woke up groggly as Edward's grip tightened around me. I shifted slightly to look up at him, my alam clock emitting enough light to allow me to see his face. He didn't seem to notice I was awake as I stared into his eyes. I could see the pain and agony deep within them. He was thinking of something horrible again I knew it. He sometimes did this, since he came back. I felt him cringe, shutting his eyes shaking it away.

I sat up quickly placing my hand on his face. "Are you alright?" I asked, not attempting to hide the worry and fear in my voice.

His eyes opened quickly again, looking at me. "I'm sorry, did I wake you?" he asked, trying to cover up the pain in his voice. I shook my head, trying to read his expressions.

"What were you thinking?" I asked, looking intently at him. He forced a smile. "Nothing Bella. I just remembered some things, but it's alright. It's late. Why don't you try to go back to sleep." he suggested. I sat up a little more, pulling away from his arms slightly to turn on the lamp that lied on the nightstand next to my bed, so I could look at him better. I sat back looking at him.

"Edward, it is not alright. Stop lying to me, I can see it in your eyes. Please...talk to me." I replied placing my hands in his.

He sighed and looked away. "I don't want to hurt you Bella. Really, its alright. It's nothing." he whispered. I quickly took my hand and placed it on his cold cheek, forcing his gaze to meet mine.

"Edward, it's not alright. I love you. What ever it is, we can find some way to fix it, but you need to tell me."

He looked down at our hands that were intertwined. "That's just it Bella I don't understand how you can love something like me. I mean you could do so much better than a souless monster like me. Hell, even that mutt would be better for you, at least he can do things with you without putting you life in danger every second of every day. At least he isn' t damned like I am. At.." I cut him off, pressing my lips to his as my brain tried to register what he was saying. I couldn't believe he thought like that.

After a long minute I pulled away to take a breath. I looked back at him, his eyes still filled with the same pain I had seen earlier. "I love you Edward. Never, ever ever, question that. And don't ever say that I would have been better off with Jacob..." I was beginning to hear the anger rise in my voice.

He sighed again before looking at me with a small smile. "Your right. I am sorry for questioning anything." I nodded, letting him know the apology was accepted.

"It's alright." I whispered laying back down. I tried to go back to sleep, but instead my mind wondered to our conversation. He still believed he didn't have a soul.

"Hey Edward." I mumbled, moving closer to him. "Yes Bella." I could hear the sadness returing to his voice. "Do you really believe you don't have a soul?"

He was silent for a few seconds and I began to wonder if he had even heard me. I opened my mouth to ask again, but he cut me off.

"It's had to believe that I do. Bella, you don't seem to understand all the lives I had taken. I could live another hundred years, trying my hardest to do good, but I don't think that for someone like me, heaven is an option. So to answer your question, no." He whispered.

"What if I told you I can prove to you that you do. That when our time comes, whenever that would be, that you and I would end up at the same place. Would you believe that you do then?" I asked, an idea forming in my head.

"I could try, but I don't see why you would make the attempt to prove something that isn't going to happen." "Well then I will prove it." I mumbled, senselessly, falling into sleep.

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"Bella can you just please tell me where we are going?" I heard Edward ask for the hundreth time since we left this morning. "No, now you know how I feel when you make surprises for me." I replied, hiding my laugh. He sighed next to me and looked back at me.

He slowly moved closer to me, his breath dancing off the side of my face. "Please Bella." he whispered. I took deep breaths trying to keep my heart from beating out of my chest. "I.I" I babbled, and I knew he smelled easy victory.

"Just a little hint." He whispered, kissing my neck. My heart began to beat more rapidly as his nose traveled up my neck. The truck swerved into the other lane, and I was brought back to reality when he grabbed the wheel forcing us back into the right lane, as a car honked.

My eyes were wide as I tried to regulate my breathing, but it came to no prevail. My one hand was clenched over my chest, while the other rested on my lap. It was then I was aware Edward was on the side of my controling the steering wheel.

"Edward..Anothony...Mason...Cullen..What did..I ...Say about...Dazzling me..when I am ...driving...my senior citizen..of a truck..."I gasped, as my breathing began to return to normal. I heard him chuckle next to me. When he didn't answer I groaned, taking the wheel back from him.

Half an hour later I pulled into a parking lot where people were just coming out of the building in front of us. They were dressed in their best clothing, some carrying books in their arms. I looked over at Edward who appeared to be in shock. I wonder if this was his first time to something like this.

"Not that I object to your decision about what you want to do today, but why did you bring us to a church?" he asked curiously looking over at me. I smiled opening my door. "I told you last night. I am going to prove that you have a soul." I said closing the door. Instantly he was at me side, grabbing my hand.

"Bella, you don't have to prove anything to me. Really we could just go back to Forks and do something else. What ever you want..but do we really have to go here?" he asked, speaking to quick for me to hear most of it. I could pick up the fear in his voice as well.

Wait...fear...I looked back up at Edward, who was looking from me to the Church. "Edward..what's wrong? Is there something about vampires and churches that I don't know about?"

He shook his head. "No its not that at all, it's just...this is..." He sighed. "What would you say, if this was the first time I would be stepping into church for the last 100 years?"

My eyes widened. He couldn't be serious. Proving to him that he had a soul was going to be harder than I thought.

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Well once again another story is up and running. I am on a rool tonight! Well you know the drill, if u have time please review!

Thankies!

-bree-


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